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Recently, someone asked me what I miss the most about life before kids. My first answer? Sleep. My second answer? Having far less financial stress than I do now.
Let me be clear that having children is the best thing I’ve ever done in my life. I don’t have an iota of regret and love my kids with every ounce of energy my old self can muster.
But I’d be lying if I were to gloss over the financial implications of having kids. I also have to be real and say point blank that even if you earn a decent income, saving money can often become very difficult once you bring kids into the mix.
As such, it’s important to take that step at the right time. And if these signs apply to you, it means you may not be financially ready to grow your family just yet.
1. You have no emergency savings
Whether you’re a parent or not, it’s important to have an emergency fund with enough money to, ideally, cover at least three full months of essential living costs. And if you’re able to save beyond that point, even better — you’ll have that much more protection in the face of unplanned bills.
If you have no emergency savings, though, then it’s probably best to wait to have kids and build some first. Once you have kids, putting money into a savings account gets harder. And also, once you have kids, you’re responsible for human beings outside of yourself, so you need a financial cushion in case things like medical bills arise that you need to handle.
2. You have no idea what child care costs
You wouldn’t buy a car without first figuring out what your monthly auto loan payments might look like, right? Well, similarly, you shouldn’t have kids before researching child care costs so you know what you’re getting into.
Care.com puts the cost of a daycare center at $321 a week for an infant in 2023. For a nanny, that figure rises to $766. If you know you’ll need child care and can’t afford what it costs in your area, you may want to hold off on having kids, build savings, and then grow your family. Otherwise, you could end up with instant debt.
Now it’s not a secret that being in debt can be stressful. But so can having a baby. So you don’t want to take on two stressful situations at the same time.
3. You have a lot of debt you’re still trying to work through
Speaking of debt, if you have a lot of it already, you may want to consider waiting to have kids while you first pay it off. As mentioned repeatedly, once you’re forced to bear the expenses that come with having kids, your ability to save may be non-existent. So if you go into parenthood with a load of debt, that load has the potential to escalate, trapping you in a terrible financial cycle.
Now you may be thinking, “I know I have a lot of debt, but it’s going to take years to shed. And I don’t want to put off having kids for too long.”
But there may be steps you can take to pay off your debt sooner. These could include consolidating it into a lower-interest personal loan or working a side hustle to chip away at your balances.
Do what’s best for you, but know what you’re signing up for
Look, I’m not the procreation police. You may decide to read this advice and say, “Thanks, but I’m emotionally ready to have a baby, so I’m just going to go for it.”
And that’s totally fine.
Having kids is a very personal choice. That applies to your decision to have children in the first place or not, and when to take that step. My goal here, rather, is to point out some signs that you may not be in the best place financially to grow your family and highlight the benefits of waiting.
And know that I practice what I preach. Before having kids, I made sure to have a fully loaded emergency fund, no debt, and a clear knowledge of what child care would cost me.
Heck, the latter was unavoidable seeing as how I had to put down a deposit for daycare when my son was still in the womb. But because of this, I was able to approach parenting from a more financially confident place. I still sometimes feel clueless when it comes to the actual child-rearing part, but in that regard, I have no advice. Many of us are still just winging it.
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