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There’s no one “right” way to handle money as a couple. Every relationship is different, and we all have different money upbringings. But nearly 45% of couples argue about money at least occasionally — and for a lot of them, it’s a recurring source of stress.
My wife and I aren’t perfect. We’ve made our share of money mistakes. But we achieved millionaire status very early in life, and I can say with confidence that our money habits have made a real difference (both in our bank account, and our relationship).
Here’s a peek into a few ways we do things differently than most. Maybe it’ll spark something for you and your partner.
1. We celebrate every 1st of the month
This tradition started a little over a decade ago when we bought our first rental property. The day we got our first rent check, we popped a bottle of something bubbly and made a small toast that night. And we’ve done it on the 1st of every month since.
It’s not really about rent checks anymore. It’s more of a ritual where we toast to any little financial move we’ve made that puts us further ahead.
Some months we don’t have anything specific to celebrate. So we just pour a glass of wine and talk about how lucky we are.
I know a lot of couples who fight about money regularly. So my wife and I do our best to make sure all our conversations are positive, upbeat, and rewarding the good moves (not focusing on only the bad ones where we’ve slipped up).
2. We double-dip on credit card rewards
My wife and I earn anywhere between $1,500 to $2,500 in credit card rewards every year. And it’s not even that hard.
Yes, I’m a points nerd so I have a certain advantage. But truthfully any couple can play this game because two spenders have more power than one.
Here are a few ways we team up to earn more rewards:
- Double earn sign-up bonuses: If we spot a great welcome offer, one of us applies first, we hit the spending requirement together, earn the bonus — then the other applies and we do it again on the other card.
- Double the spending caps: Some cards cap rewards at a certain amount (for example, a grocery rewards card offering 6% back on the first $6,000 spent per year). If my wife and I both hold that card, we effectively double that cap by splitting purchases across two accounts.
- Refer each other: Many cards offer referral credits when you bring in a new cardholder. We earn those too by referring each other to new promotions.
I’m not saying every couple should go all-in on the points game. It’s not for everyone. But treating rewards like a team sport — and keeping it fun — has added up to real money over the years.
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3. We talk before buying stuff
This isn’t an “ask permission” type of thing. It’s more general courtesy and staying on the same page about where money goes.
Before one of us spends anything remotely notable, we give the other a quick heads-up.
It could be something as simple as “hey, I’m sending the daycare payment today.” Or a text that says “the girls and I are doing brunch at Yama Sushi on Sunday” (translation: don’t be shocked if you see a $100+ charge on the Visa).
The idea behind sharing where we spend is that we treat all of our money as ours — not mine or hers. It keeps us both in the loop on where our money is going, and keeps trust high.
Like my wife says… “If it’s not worth a conversation, it’s probably not worth buying.”
The bottom line
My wife and I came from completely different money backgrounds. And our brains work really differently when it comes to math.
It took many years to get on the same page about money. None of this happens overnight.
If you’re having a hard time and want a great place to start as a couple, I’d genuinely recommend the book “Smart Couples Finish Rich” by David Bach. It’s a little nerdy, but hey, it helped my wife and I get on the same page early on — and we are stronger because of it.
And if you’re ready to start double-dipping on rewards like we do, the first step is finding the right card. A great rewards card can put real money back in your pocket on purchases you’re already making.
See today’s top rewards credit cards and start earning more on your joint spending.
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Motley Fool Money does not cover all offers on the market. Editorial content from Motley Fool Money is separate from The Motley Fool editorial content and is created by a different analyst team.Joel O’Leary has no position in any of the stocks mentioned. The Motley Fool has positions in and recommends Visa. The Motley Fool has a disclosure policy.
